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leaving this island [26 Mar 2008|02:02am]
[ mood | restless ]

What's good music anymore? I don't even know. All the stuff I used to hate I like now, and and my favorite stuff I'm sick of. All I know is that I want to go to to Europe really bad. I want to be around attractive people talking different languages and being rude, if they can manage it. I suppose it's a dreadful time to travel, with money crapping out and all, but I want to wake up and be around interesting things. I feel so dead today. It's spring and I feel like moving around.

2 dead bitchs stab me

[24 May 2007|04:32pm]

I return victorious with the original numbers reversed.

Let's join together as one.

Andrew Marr and Stephen Daldry!


1 dead bitch stab me

[01 Jan 2007|09:26am]
Happy New Year, beyotchez!  It better be better than 2006, or I'm going to have to kick someone's ass.
stab me

[09 Nov 2006|12:20am]
your comments: "when someone LISTENS too much "...you need to "find a balance" - things go too far in a certain direction.
                              "why don't you think my words are bogus?"...you ask me ? or that's how I construed what you were saying.
                               "listen to my intentions, don't detach the words" you say, and you are right. Why am I doing that? my conclusion: you're saying I'm stupid for listening to you. Maybe that's just what I'm wondering and I'm like putting the words in your mouth. well maybe I don't think it's stupid....but I question where I'm getting this from: my degree of attraction, too much to ignore? 'hurtness'  as a mask for something I don't want to reveal?
stab me

[14 Apr 2006|07:37am]
Inventory of what I'm selling below (most of the PCs are together, but some bits have been taken out but will be provided):

* ATX server case (MIDI) - Good heavy duty case
* Q-TEC 550W PSU
* A-Bit KT7A Motherboard
* Athlon T-Bird 1Ghz (clocked to 1.333Ghz I believe) + globalwin fan
* 50x CDROM drive
* 1.44 Floppy Drive
* Creativer AWE64 Value SoundBlaster
* 3COM 3C905B-TXMM Fast Etherlink XL PCI NIC
* S3 Trio 3D AGP Graphics card
* PCI dual extraction exhaust
* About 1GB of SDRAM I think
* Extra 80mm case fan

* ATX case
* 2 x PII 400 CPUs
* GA-6BXD motherboard - 2 CPU slots, AGP slot, 5 PCI slots, 2 ISA slots)
* 3 SDRAM sticks, probably totalling around 1GB ish.
* Realtek RTL8139B NIC

* J-5TXB R2 motherboard (4 PCI slots)
* 2 SDRAM slots
* 2 old style memory slots (can't remember the type ;P)
* 3 ISA slots
* Powerpack
* AT Case (7 slots)
* Some old internal modem
* AWE soundblaster card
* Advanced Logic Video Wizard graphics card
* K6-AFR-266 CPU (I think)
* Floppy drive
* 36x IDE CDROM drive
* 1.44 Floppy drive
* Hard drive. Don't know how big it is.
* A single stick of SDRAM memory... no idea how much!

* ATX case with no cover (just the skeleton)
* 1.44 floppy disk drive
* Motherboard & CPU. Think it's a slot 1, but it's using some kind of socket converter (can't remember). 3 DIMM slots, 3 PCI slots, 1 ISA slot (small form factor I think)
* 2 x SDRAM sticks at 256mb each I think
* Power supply

Extra components
* Asus 50x CDROM drive
* 300W ATX power supply
* 3 button generic PS/2 mouse
* S3 Trio3D/2X graphics card
* RM Nimbus PS/2 Keyboard
* Artec AS6E Scanner + serial cable
* LG 48X CDROM Drive
* RocketRAID 404 4 channel ATA133 RAID Adapter in original box
* Arowana Multimedia Series Speaker System (2 x generic speakers, 50W PMPO)
* 17" CRT monitor - TUV Model no. VP1770 OA, Type No. J71A
* 15" generic CRT monitor
* Various cables (kettle leads, IDE leads, CD audio leads etc)
* Various manuals for the above.
* Lots of dust

Sold as seen - I know that most of the bits work individually, but I can't be bothered getting them work together (some power packs may be blown or memory or motherboards, but you'd be able to make a PC or two from all of the bits). I can't vouch for all of the equipment and tbh I just want rid of it.

Only one hard drive is included as I don't have time to clear any of the others and there's probably some personal stuff on them somewhere. No drivers, software or OS disks are included - you can get everything online anyway if you need it. All of the PCs have worked in the past and I've discarded them as I've upgraded over the years. Haven't tried them all, nor can I remember what went wrong with them (if anything!).

Offers around £200 for the lot please... there are some good bits of equipment there. I'll deliver locally if you want. Would suit someone who likes to tinker as they all need a bit of work to get going. Would consider selling bits individually, but ideally want to get rid of it all very soon (the next week or so). Gonna put it on ebay if no-one on here is interested.
stab me

[27 Dec 2005|02:57am]
[ mood | 'playground sex' ]

Why do people think sexuality is in any way connected to amorphous concepts like caring and love? Sex feels to me more like revenge and hatred and violence.

'Bring Me The Head of Alfredo Garcia' is the greatest film ever made. Especially potent for those of us who've worked through trouble inh our lives to create art.

2 dead bitchs stab me

[03 Dec 2005|04:43am]
[ mood | spiritual ]

My favorite thing about churches is the candle smell. Whenever I see that scene in Highlander where the guy puts out all the candles with his hand I always think "that must smell good..."

1 dead bitch stab me

[02 Dec 2005|11:49pm]
[ mood | wow! a drop down list!!! ]

coming from the north .... i always think it was more attitude than music...mark e smith epitomises it. I'm not sure whether i like the fall's music... but i like the fall...



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2 dead bitchs stab me

[28 Nov 2005|09:45pm]
you know how sometimes you do things and you think it's all just for fun?
well they aren't i guess. i'm sorry i don't know what to do.

it's worse when you can't cry because then you feel like you're lying to yourself.
stab me

We are all prostitutes [28 Nov 2005|03:11am]
I don't care who wrote the anonymous memoir 'Belle de Jour'. I looked at the book in the supermarket and it looked unreadable crap.

But it's kind of amusing that the two prime suspects for this are Sarah Champion and Stewart Home...and I know both these individuals. God bless em. Sarah, I fancied the arse off you when you were 18.
stab me

Nothing to say [24 Nov 2005|02:14am]
Why do people write journal entries when they have nothing to say? I would never, ever do such a pointless thing.
stab me

Bad tempered Sybil writes the hate list [02 Nov 2005|04:39am]
- people who talk loudly and inanely on their phones in public spaces so we all know how popular and in-demand they are. Also those who text-message in company, and anyone who carries on playing their retarded computer games when they have a visitor.

- cocaine and its users. There is a reason you need a drug to give you fake confidence...it's because you are a worthless person who has nothing to say. And you are talking non-stop shit to me, and I'm too polite to tell you this.

- jailbait who post pics of themselves semi-clad online, reminding me that I am no longer as pretty and young as I was and also making me feel like a pervert for looking.

- politicos, christians, vegetarians, straightedgers who feel the need to preach (No offense to those who don't). The only thing you will achieve by trying to reform me is to make me want to reform you. And the way I reform people is by killing them.
3 dead bitchs stab me

[27 Oct 2005|09:01pm]
I'm thinking of applying for a job with S.C.Laboratories (at http://www.scl.cc ) - can anyone give me some advice on what to wear if I get the interview?
3 dead bitchs stab me

wappy waloheen! [26 Oct 2005|10:27am]
[ mood | anxious ]


2 dead bitchs stab me

[26 Oct 2005|10:11am]
[ mood | determined ]

i leave for danzig in 50 minutes. it's time for hatebears to WAKE UP!

1 dead bitch stab me

[25 Oct 2005|01:57am]
dear spike,
emma is a cunt. why did you raise her so awful? should have aborted her when you had the chance. hey man, it was the 80s who would have cared? you shouldn't have been pregnant with her in the first place. i would have been an gentleman and pulled out. gah!
stab me

[24 Oct 2005|11:16pm]
shirtless young boys playing outdoor games on warm summer afternoons. skin so soft and beautiful smudged here and there with dirt and grime like paint on the purest most delicate canvas. winter is coming. goodbye my little pieces of art.
stab me

influenza [17 Oct 2005|09:16pm]
i've been thinking about this 'avian flu' that is supposed to come and destroy us. i'm convinced i have contracted a rare strain of it which doesn't make me influenzaed, but actually turns me into a bird. for a start my back is aching - a sure sign that buried behind my ribcage, a hefty pair of wings are pushing their way out. also, my jaw is very stiff and painful when i chew which can only mean that my face is contracting into what will eventually resemble a beak. my toes are cut and the balls of my feet are burning so any day now, claws will form and my feet will split into four. and i hate birds. i hated them before all this bird flu nonsense. they sit on the telephone wire outside my house and tweet tweet tweet all day, mocking me and driving me to distraction. and the night i spent outside in the box - i heard the birds saying goodnight to eachother and heard their good mornings too. i'm sure they stayed up extra late and got up extra early just to annoy me. and when they dive at your head! why do they do that? i was pecked on the head by a pigeon once. it was terrifying. i think it may stem back to when i was little and stood in my grannys garden with bits of bread balanced along my outstretched arms and on my head while i waited patiently for birds to come and eat it off me. they never did. i suppose the only benefit of being a bird would be the flying. its like the jumping people which i read about it dave eggars 'you shall know our velocity' where the people would run around trying to emulate the birds into flight. or in howl's moving castle when he transforms into the bird with the human head. pretty scary. back to the jumping people: i thought about then when i saw that sigur ros video, the glosoli one, where the children all follow the drummer boy and leap off the cliff. which reminded me of finola's mother in luke sutherlands 'venus as a boy' when she escaped from the castle (? havent read it in ages) and is carried away over the carpathians by her wedding dress. which for some reason reminded me of pauls death in the wasp factory. my brain feels wrung out.
stab me

[16 Oct 2005|04:56am]
Some unusual websites I've seen lately...http://www.xxxexpose.com is by a pagan activist chick who got herself into a deranged and amusing Satanic panic of a lather over mean BDSM porn like insex.com. She ties in the 'extreme' ramblings of a deceased occultist at http://www.deathandhell.com into a vast planet-wide sinister conspiracy.
I notice that Wikipedia now helpfully define the term 'r@ygold' - thanks guys! A nice and lively discussion page about that entry...
The 'plausible denials' (its his wife's dad, oh and her brother, who were big CIA guys...) were the clinching evidence for me that http://cryptome.org is CIA-backed - doesn't stop it from being a great read of course - but who is really behind http://www.infovlad.net where the vast majority of visitors must surely be prospective mujahadeen rather than 'terror trackers'...there's a subsite for hackers, so maybe it is just some crazy young Russian kid?
Thumbs down to the US state for the attempted prosecution of the impressively sleazy and amoral ex-cop whose site http://www.nowthatsfuckedup.com has done more to embarrass the military (and prospectively stop the war, if enough of the public could see this shit) than the ineffectual fumblings of a million liberals.
1 dead bitch stab me

[22 Sep 2005|09:29pm]
i'm really into that mainstream song 'Swing Life Away' by Rise Against. it accurately describes how i feel sometimes and sometimes how i feel is also relevant in Shiny Toy Guns or Aqua songs. oh well.

anyway, i'm obsessed with this boy who i know has a bad history with long distance relationships. sure he only really lives half an hour/less away but he's not good at being with girls who aren't right there i guess. i've never actually met him either. i've seen him before and been at parties where he has also been. i've also been talking to him online and on myspace for a while. oh the wonders of myspace.

anyway, so i think that this leads to my attraction to distruction and sadness. i'm always attracted to really introverted people that i never have a chance with. the difference with this boy is that he's tangible and he told me last night on AIM that he likes me. though he only likes me from how we talk to each other and stuff like that. i really enjoy him and i want to meet him soo much. his homecoming is this weekend so i can't drive out to see him or anything.

i'm driving fifty miles in a different direction tomorrow with some underaged girls. i'm excited. should be fun.

anyway..i'm lame. and i hate myself. and this boy sees that and wants to help. i want a boy who can fix me and then i can help fix him.
6 dead bitchs stab me

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